The Rebel's Eye

These days you're not here to toast to my proudest day. Can't see my happiness, guess it's still dark where you are. You don't understand how I grow flowers in the snow, thinking I've got the underhand but you already know. These days you don't like where I'm headed, so you act big headed, but I'm good where I'm at, make it happen on my own. From atop your pedestal you look down, but as the sun stretches across the water I move further away from the drama. Yeah Just someone that I used to know.  Is that all we are? Disapointment never felt so cold. Take care.

  Lately I have been thinking a lot about what freedom is.  Forced radical change will do that to you.  In a simple form, freedom is the ability to choose.  You can choose your outfit, your employer, what kind of dog you have and what’s for dinner all within your means.  These are choices that you make every day, but there are limitations aren’t there?  Your location, finances, physical abilities ext all create a ceiling for your choices.  For example, someone making 40K a year isn’t likely to take a yearly vacation in the south of France.   When thinking about this topic, my thoughts drifted to the pie in the sky and what could be.  Because as a red personality and a Sagittarius, the best possible outcome is always the end game for me.  Go big or take your sorry ass home. So, the, ‘what could be’s’ also got me questioning not only what are these limitations but why are these limitations in place and are they true limits or somethin...

 How could they do you like that Stand you up, turn you out then leave you alone Haven't you given all your heart to them,  all your time all your love and your soul to them  Maybe they weren't your person did you think of that All that wasted time that you can't get back But the stories turn to truth before my eyes It gets too deep so fast Spending so much time drowning in the lies I've got to get out of my mind Apparently they don't understand your love Apparently they could do better than you But as time ticks away they will see the truth Apparently you never loved them too How could you go and treat me like that Build me up knock me down have your laughs You wanted to give me all your heart, all your time all your love and your soul Maybe you weren't my person, but I never thought of that  All of that wasted time that I can't get back But the stories turn to truth before my eyes It gets too deep so fast Spending so much time drowning in the lies I'...

 I've posted about this topic in smaller bite size pieces in the last few months but it is time to elaborate and speak out.  I've experienced and been the target of several conversations in the recent past concerning my life choices.  These topics include my disinterest in having children or a family, and my lack of husband or desire to rush out and scoop one up.  I've also been interviewed about 'how could I ever be happy without kids and a man', my income, did I EARN my job and title (what?), and how exactly do I pay for my Range Rover?  I'm sharing this from a place of 50% frustration and 50% disgust.  These are not only the questions and concerns of the people around me but also the beliefs of our largley patriarchal society structure.   This was most recently proven when graduation speeches no longer honor the accomplishments of students.  Instead we demean them by calling the females, mothers, rather than the successful professionals th...

  Beauty that no one can see Inject my veins so I can breathe I wanted you to save me from myself Tragedy that we share That smiles a dagger I'll keep your secrets right here I wanted you to save me From danger I wanted you to let me save you From yourself I know your kind been there a time or two Your scent your voice takes over my mind The road you walk is all for show I look into your eyes to see what's behind The deep marron A secret place no one knows we go Left empty as my soul when you go Pretty baby it was all you So long Playa del Carmen There is no afterglow How numb did you think I was? Pretty baby it was all you So long Playa del Carmen There is no afterglow How come I love all your flaws? You're not mine no you're not mine My beauty everyone sees You want to be closer so you can breathe I wanted warm vacation vibes I wanted him but he is chaos Stay away from me Fight for your attention like it's the playoffs How long till you get to me I'm getting...