Women are NOT Victims

 I've posted about this topic in smaller bite size pieces in the last few months but it is time to elaborate and speak out.  I've experienced and been the target of several conversations in the recent past concerning my life choices.  These topics include my disinterest in having children or a family, and my lack of husband or desire to rush out and scoop one up.  I've also been interviewed about 'how could I ever be happy without kids and a man', my income, did I EARN my job and title (what?), and how exactly do I pay for my Range Rover?  I'm sharing this from a place of 50% frustration and 50% disgust.  These are not only the questions and concerns of the people around me but also the beliefs of our largley patriarchal society structure.   This was most recently proven when graduation speeches no longer honor the accomplishments of students.  Instead we demean them by calling the females, mothers, rather than the successful professionals they paid money to become.   The females present that day did not pay for an education to become "a homemaker", sir.  There is, in fact, no such degree.  Honestly,  what does his rich, privileged ass know about working for a living or what makes a woman successful anyway?   However, I would ask the same question to the older generation woman who has raised a family and feels the need to tear down my choices and happiness.  Do you 50 year old Karen, know what it takes to be a successful women?  Is your concern genuine or do your inquiries come from a place of anger and jealously because you want all women to suffer the same path you did?  Food for thought.

Women are not limited on what they can accomplish based on their sex.  Ladies, you have the same potential as all other humans.  That's right,  HUMANS, we are all humans.  The difference is women are TOLD they aren't made for the same success as men.  Read that again.  Women aren't made for the same success as men.  Lies.  Any human is able to achieve, you must simply, get up off your ass and do it.

Being a female or having children is in no way a disadvantage, a handicap nor a reason to receive pity, help or a free pass.  If you want to be treated like an equal then start acting like one.  Being single is not a pitfal and it does not hold you back from accomplishment, success or happiness.  Being childless is in no way a measure of ones joy, or how capable someone is of giving or receiving love.

 

Females are taught that having a family and a husband is the ultimate achievement.   Raising a family is such an 'accomplishment'.   News flash, anyone can get married and have kids.  Anyone. You know what real accomplishment is?  Living on your own terms.   If any female , in my case, an unmarried, childless female, is able to reach goals, get educated, feel good about their mind and body, not have the responsibility of family, make her own money and have nice things that is in no way a disadvantage. Don't cry for me.  It's a damn flex!  It's a flex and you know why both men and women question you, shame you and doubt your happiness?  Because you're going against the grain, it's working for you, you're happy and you look good doing it.  You threaten the narrative!   You're poking holes in their white picket fence story book by doing the things they either didn't think they could or didn't have the balls to try.  As an independent you are free to think for yourself, you aren't dumping all your resources into the societal norm so you can't be controlled as easily.   You're harder to manipulate.   You have more power, and you have the intelligence to stand your ground.

What makes a female strong, powerful and independent?  Doing what makes her happy and NOT apologizing for it.  

How about we stop using metrics from 1950 to measure ones worth.  How about we treat all people as humans rather than placing them in a sexist box.  What if females were more open about what they really wanted?  You know what you'd hear? We want the same things as men.  Financial independence and intelligence, success, sex, acceptance and happiness. Most just refuse to say it.  I'm not.

So if you're still reading this you either are looking for the unfriend button or yelling, "hell yes" into your phone screen.  The point here is that I or women in similar situations, are not charity cases.  We aren't miserable cat women, watching a biological clock and man hunting.  We've decided those things have low value.  We're happy with our lives.  So the next time you want to criticize me for being husbandless, childless, a career women,  driving a Range Rover, being attractive, spending my time working on DIY projects and lifting weights to the tune of rap songs that openly degrade females, don't bother.  If girls like this, if I make you uncomfortable, that's not my fault.  Instead of grilling me about my decisions, figure out why you are so unhappy with yours.