Cleansing Change

 I spend a lot of time walking.  I walk my dogs, I walk during my lunch hour.  You can even find me late at night on a walk.  It’s a tool I use for clear thinking.  My recent walks have made me aware of the changing seasons.  As September gives way to October and the green trees turn fire and yellow, I find myself watching colored leaves floating peacefully to the ground.  I’m reminded that change is upon me in more ways than one, and that change is a good thing.

So often change is viewed as something that is undesired, scary or bad.  We are told that change is  different or unexpected, and possibly even to be feared.  The standard seems to be that change is forced and brings unfavorable circumstances to our lives.  Phrases like, “Change is inevitable”, or, “Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change”, keep the narrative alive that change is a masked man, a bad guy waiting in the shadows to pounce and force his will upon us.  But, as you know by now, this blog exists because I want us all to laugh at the status quo, so let’s explore change in a new light.

Just like my walks are a tool, so is change.  I’m talking about purposeful, intentional change that is planned.  I'll elaborate.  In the last few years I have experienced a massive amount of change that was unplanned and that I was totally unprepared for.  Through many moves, job changes, a cancelled wedding, failed attempt to launch my LLC,  financial concerns, and a sprinkle of stalking by someone close to me,  I found myself in an odd place.  A place that made me crave change in order to get away from the uncomfortable existence I faced every day.  I once heard a quote on a self help podcast that went something like, “Action is the antidote to anxiety”.  This was powerful to me because it clearly states that if you want to feel better about something, get off your ass and take action.  No amount of worry or contemplation will help you.  So I decided to take action in the form of executing change that reshapes every fucking aspect of my life.

Simply because you plan to enact change does not mean it is easy, or fun, or can be condensed into a 30 day program format.    Here is how this looked for me.  My concerns about finances lead me down rabbit holes about financial independence, creating a F.I. number and asking myself do I actually get paid enough at work.  Through my research I have dramatically changed my spending habits, and went back to school for a certification to help my chances at better pay down the road.  This process took 6 plus months and is still ongoing.  These changes were not quick fixes but they do and will create new habits for me to paint myself a better life.  My abusive and failed relationship has made me more and more aware of myself.  It has made me ask what do I want, and what will I not tolerate.  This leaves me single at the moment but I am learning to embrace my freedom and focus on myself.  I will,  at some point in the future, be able to offer someone a full life built on trust and excitement rather than dependency and desperation.  My notions of feeling unsafe rule my life every single day in ways that I never imagined.  I plan to discuss this further in a future post.  However, I am taking necessary steps, some of which are uncomfortable,  in order to protect myself.  Moving to a new town, changing my habits, and being proactive have all been change that in the long run will keep me safe, and allow me to live without fear.  All of these things are change that I choose to create in order to meet a goal, have a new mindset and live a full life.  I am using ALL the tools in my tool box.

I see change as a long shower or a standing in the rain moment where you can wash away all of the things that you don’t like about yourself, or your life, so you can start over, free from the past.  It’s not running away from your problems, it is facing them, taking off their mask, and calling bullshit on the control a thing or person has over you, as you confidently move toward something better.  Towards the light.  I think any change has the potential to bring just as much positivity to your situation as negativity, but that possibility is often ignored.  Doing something different will open doors that you had no idea were even there.  You don’t have to walk through every open door either.  Keep in mind we always have a choice, but understanding your options gives you power and confidence that you probably have yet to imagine. 

Never cower in the face of change.  Stand up,  grab it with both hands and inspect every inch of possibility. Learn as much as you can from what is going on and ask yourself how do I get the most benefit from this?  Use change like you do an outfit.  You go from workout clothes to formal wear depending on what you have to do that day.  Get that comfortable with change.  The Buddhist religion teaches us that nothing is permanent and attachment to anything, a situation, a location, a person, or status will create suffering.  You must learn to allow things to flow in and out of your life without attachment or desire.  Once we master this idea, when we begin to practice this in our day to day, we can welcome change and embrace it for what it is.  An opportunity for experience and the creation of something new.  A tool.  Who knows it may be better than the last.  So make like the trees outside and shed what you don’t need and do something different.  Design peaceful and cleansing change in your life.

What things in your life could benefit from change?  How do you see change?  Have you thought about how being open to something different could improve your situation?  
Open your mind.