A Man Called Dad


Someone I look up to

Someone I look down on

A reminder of what to avoid 

So many things I wish we could do

This part of my heart a ghost town

Can't tell how to fill this void


They tell me to keep some distance

You say you want to talk

I just can't help my persistence 

But where there's no green

you don't believe 

Seems no matter how loud 

you can't hear my screams


Poison my mind with your memories 

Break my spirit with your pain

But no matter how many times the cycle repeats 

my response is still the same 



What happened to you?

Did none of us bring you joy?

If only you could see my view

Your family a life with me and you

What happened to you?

I wish you were thirsty for our love

And our laughter was your drug

But it's never too late

To repair what you've undone



It's hard to remember to call you Dad

It's hard to write you back

I know what I saw 

was it really all that bad

All my fellas love their old man

I know I can't relate, no way to understand 


You were the king 

Of everything

And somehow I'm just the same

won't let my demons be my ruler 

I want them to remember my name


You were Invincible immune to bullets

Your vices were your demons 

The things you loved your desmine 

Now choosing to live my life to the fullest 

Wish you could see childhood from my side


What happened to you?

Did none of us bring you joy?

I wish you could see my view

Your family a life with me and you

What happened to you?

I wish you were thirsty for our love

And our laughter was your drug

But it's never too late

To repair what you've undone



I want to tell you about my life 

Finally arriving to my field of dreams 

I am the man and I've got a plan

A water-colored vision and the means

A beautiful figure that I'll make my wife

I'm so happy

sometimes

 I don't know what it all means

One day we'll continue our bloodline 

And I'll show him love

He'll never know this kind of strife



And I wonder if I'll tell him you set our field of dreams ablaze?

I've held out my hand

So many times

And it's bitten, bitten, bitten

There's really no reason or rhyme

I swear I'm changing how my story is written 


In the obsidian night you enter my mind I'm still your son

A shared name

Your only one

But you cannot see

What you have done

You make me feel

Like I'm no one


And it's hard to remember to call you Dad

I wanted you here with us so bad

I hope your heart knows 

that as mine grows 

there's always room

this is forever your home

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