The Rebel's Eye

  I have no more time for your labyrinth All the lies I can't keep straight Used to dream about life in your palace But all this running I can't keep pace Had a dream I came back, you made effort But I know that's the last thing I would choose. I don't want a life alone with you Baby, I don't play games that set me up to loose You're all I would have Alone and sad and searching for myself You're all I would have Don't want a life spent dusty on your shelf I broke free but it feels underwhelming Some days spent scared and confused So many times I screamed why couldn't you hear me You were supposed to help me but I just feel used You're all I would have Alone and sad and searching for myself You're all I would have Don't want a life spent dusty on your shelf I wanted you You wanted me I lied because you lied to me Most days you're all that I could see Despite the fire in the trees I ran to you You ran from me Wanting something that c...

  I spend a lot of time walking.  I walk my dogs, I walk during my lunch hour.  You can even find me late at night on a walk.  It’s a tool I use for clear thinking.  My recent walks have made me aware of the changing seasons.  As September gives way to October and the green trees turn fire and yellow, I find myself watching colored leaves floating peacefully to the ground.  I’m reminded that change is upon me in more ways than one, and that change is a good thing. So often change is viewed as something that is undesired, scary or bad.  We are told that change is  different or unexpected, and possibly even to be feared.  The standard seems to be that change is forced and brings unfavorable circumstances to our lives.  Phrases like, “Change is inevitable”, or, “Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change”, keep the narrative alive that change is a masked man, a bad guy waiting in the shadows to pounce and forc...

I didn’t plan on writing about this topic for my next post but a very real conversation I had with a respected and trusted friend made me realize that for me, this idea needs my attention sooner than later.   There is a Khalid song titled Know Your Worth, https://youtu.be/aEDULPGIwcg?si=cQ4yTUKEpGBDFl5O and as I write this I am listening to it, but differently than before.  A few favorite lines,  You don’t know your worth All the things I know you deserve Say it’s not real if it doesn’t hurt Find someone you know will put you first Find someone who loves you at your worst If you know me personally or have read even one of my posts on here, you will know that I always preach concepts like being brave, independent, not settling for less, and standing your ground on your morales, and while I think I do play by these rules on a day to day basis, I now see that on a deeper level I don’t believe any of it for myself.  I’m here to confess that I let people in over and ...